Quick story about a travelling jerk, a bus + hot coffee

Where I first encountered jerk and company. Airport shuttle area, Bush airport in Houston, Texas

Where I first encountered jerk and company. Airport shuttle area at airport in Houston, Texas

My stats tell me Tank’s Travels readers LOVE a good story about the jerks I meet on the road.

Here’s one for which I have no photos. I’m sure the jerk would have punched my lights out if I’d attempted to capture him on camera.

No matter. You already know the type. Loud, overfed, red faced, entitlement complex, wearing a cheap straw hat purchased at his all-inclusive resort, quick to bitch and belittle others.

The New Jersey-bound jerk and his three companions (wife and two adults children, I think) had a layover in Houston, Texas, as I did.

We shared an airport shuttle to our separate hotels and back to the airport the next morning.

The bus was the typical airporter. A few seats and space for bags. Already seething over the amount of time I’d waited for the bus, I was in NO mood for idiots. But the ear-drum piercing volume of their voices made them unavoidable. That and the fact they spread themselves out, taking over most of the seating. That’s why they needed to bellow. That’s why I needed an extra strength Tylenol when I got to the hotel.

Justice was served up the next morning. We had an early start at 0600. When the bus pulled up to their hotel, they made us wait, while they loaded up on free food to bring on the bus.

Only the bus driver wouldn’t let them on with their food plates. Unable to pass up free grub, we waited some more while they stuffed their faces with food. Finally, they got on the bus with just their coffee cups.

Can you say “fucking incensed?”  Yup, they were pretty pissed at the driver and made a lot of noise about it.

Trying to make up time and possibly punish these horrible people, the driver hit the gas. This caused the jerk to spill his hot coffee into his crotch.

The end. The perfect ending.


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