“Howdee amigos.”

Kill me now.

Minnie Pearl in a wetsuit. Volume turned up to 11.

Trapped on a dive boat with this loud, attention-seeking Colorado resident for four hours (minus two hours underwater, where she still managed to annoy me.) The same woman I saw practically French kissing her little dog at the pool a few days ago.

Was hoping she wasn’t a scuba diver. Sadly, she is.

Ugh. (She’s at the next table at the restaurant as I write this. Yammering away about nonsense).

Yanks get a bad rap for being “ugly” travellers and, yes, they can be annoying, in-your-face patriotic and LOUD. But in my experience, the majority are wonderful company.

(My country folk, Canadians, can be pretty ugly too. Take a trip to Cuba or Playa del Carmen and watch them in action. Embarrassing. But no nation holds the patent on travel misbehaviour.)

I’ve spent many days with terrific, smart, sane, kind, generous and fun Americans in the last few weeks.

-Mark and partner from Minnesota. Loved diving with them. Keen eye for spotting sharks.

-JM and TM. High tech types from the Bay Area. Dove with them last year as well. Best recreational divers I’ve ever seen, nice people and smart.

-Theo, Darryl, Joyce and Dave from Austin, Texas. Dove with them everyday for nearly a week. So nice. So helpful with my dive gear. Great discussion about healthcare in our two countries in between dives.

The pictures attached to this post are of the Colorado ‘howdee” blow hard. I’ve never seen a diver do handstands and hump the sand underwater. Show off.

Thankfully, she’s an anomaly.